Sunny-Side Up Please

Today I have a date and not with my husband!I’m going on a date with a woman I met on a bus two weeks ago, and yes my husband knows and approves.

Get your mind out of the gutter. It’s not what you think. I’m just trying to build up a community in this little town I moved to about 18 months ago. So I met this woman on a bus from my little town to a local city airport for a business trip. She was hilarious, super funny, a little raunchy and maybe trouble. But I thought... what the heck. So we exchanged info and long story short we are going out for dinner tonight. I want to make friends but I am concerned we won’t hit it off and it will be awkward. See kind of like a date! Anyway, my brain starts to make up stories about what the evening will be like. I think about meeting her at the restaurant and wonder what she will think of what I’m wearing, should I wear jeans or a skirt. Why would I wear a skirt for dinner and wine bar hopping? I’m wearing jeans and that final! What shirt should I wear? I want to walk so I don’t have to drive home but will I be too cold to walk home? I don’t want her to think she needs to drive me home? What if we find we have nothing to talk about? Shut the "F" up brain!!!! I love my brain but it often lies to me. It tells me I have to be perfect, dress perfect, act perfect, be smart and up to date on politics, witty, charming and so much more or less. I’m never enough just the way I am. Ugh! I just want to make friends and my brain has again sabotaged my plan. What can I do to turn this around? How can I have the kind of evening I want?

I know this is a silly example, but it's a perfect example of how our brains are continuously piecing together the information we know is fact and filling in the blank with the next best information we have. Basically we make up stories all the time. When I’m able to pause long enough to realize my brain has gone wild again I S.T.O.P. (meditation is a great tool to learn this super power)

“Inner noise from our busy, always thinking minds in action, can be as distracting as outside influences.”

Stop - I pause to stop the madness! I know my brain is doing its job. It is thinking of all the things I need to consider to protect myself from harm. However, my brain takes seed of experiences form the past and creates a story which includes all these crazy things. Once I'm aware my brain is in overdrive I can move to the next step.

Take a breath - This furthers the pause a bit more, feeds my body with Prana, which is defined as many things: the physical breath, the original creative power and the energy of consciousness itself. Taking a breath or two or ten, feeds my physical body, provides my brain a rest and fills me with a more creative energy.

Observe how my body feels - Are my shoulders up to my ears with tension (as they usually are), is my stomach feeling anxious or upset, am I feeling like I want to retreat into a hole to avoid the entire experience and the pain that is coming not knowing how to show up perfectly so that I'm adored and cherished as a friend? Taking a breath or two can relieve our body of these physical stresses.

Proceed with love - What is the most kind loving way I can proceed in this moment and who is most in need of this loving kindness. In this case it was me. I needed to remind myself I am a fun, loving, caring friend and if I show up from a place of kindness and love I was doing all I could and should do in this situation.